It always takes me awhile to analyze things. I wish I could be one of those ‘act and react’ people, but when it is serious, I just can’t. For example, if someone starts yelling at me, I kinda freeze, and my head is empty. Like, completely empty. It’s almost like I’m not quite there, I’m just a tape-recorder, listening to everything that person is saying and then later, much later, I start contemplating what they said, dissecting it completely until everything is in their little boxes. This usually means I don’t stand up for myself because it never occurs to me until much later what they were saying.
After a good week of not doing ANY writing at all (with the exception of an 11 o’clock scurry to the library to write out a title for a novel) I haven’t done anything. Why? Well, I’ve been cleaning my house (unpacking is almost done now, so shut up), laundry, rearranging ALL of the furniture in my house so all of my books are in one room (kinda) and creating a plan of attack.
And while I do these things, my brain never turns off and I contemplate everything that I remember from the conference. Later on, maybe in a few more days, I’ll go through my notes and read what these lovely people said. But right now, what stands out the most is WHY I went all the way to LA for a conference.
I wanted to be encouraged.
I do not have a writer’s critique group. I don’t really ‘know’ any other writers. I mean, I know one, but we write different genres and she’s terribly busy and couldn’t be possibly be interested in reading anything I wrote because she is a big deal and I am not. I haven’t taken a writer’s class since University because I don’t have time. Nor could I be on a deadline with homework. Sorry excuse, I know.
But on the very first day, we were asked to write out our goals. And mine was encouragement. To be an encouragement and to be encouraged.
And I’m happy to say, I was.
And sometimes? You just need the teeniest word to tell you how wonderful you are, and then you feel like you can tackle the world again and that your heart and soul are not being trampled on. And all is well.
Listening to: “Anybody Seen My Baby’ by the Rolling Stones (it’s on shuffle – and just shuffled to Elvis’s ‘Are you Lonesome Tonight?’
Drinking: 911 Tea and water
Smelling: fresh air.