We arrive at Mrs. Kelly’s house to discover the strong smell of paint fumes coming from the front door. Mrs. Kelly’s husband, Mr. Kelly, is painting the hallways a lovely ‘Bicycle Yellow’ courtesy of Home Depot. He’s wearing a gray t-shirt that shows off his huge muscle-y arms and a pair of hideous green work pants and sneakers. He waves us off upstairs to Ms. Kelly’s library where she is working on another book.
But she’s not in there. We knock on each door upstairs to hear a small voice say ‘come in’.
Mrs. Kelly, this is very strange, but are we allowed to interview you in your bedroom?
Whatever. Do you want an almond?
Um, no thank you. We actually just came by to do a quick interview but if you’re having a nap…
No, I’m not napping.
Well, what are you doing? We expected to find you typing away on your new book.
I am.
I don’t mean to point out the obvious, but you aren’t typing at all. Actually, you don’t even have a computer in here. And you’re lying in bed, under a very thick gray blanket with a bag of almonds beside you.
I’m working.
?
I’m working. She pops an almond in her mouth.
Well, the reason we’re here today is to ask you a very specific question in which all writers have different answers.
Gray.
Excuse me?
Gray. My snuggly blanket is gray. Isn’t that what you wanted to know?
Ah, no. The question we would like answered is, ‘How do you deal with Writer’s Block?’
You’re looking at it.
From what I understand, you’re lying in bed with a gray fuzzy blanket on top of you, your snuggly-blanket, and you’re eating almonds?
And staring out the window.
And staring out the window.
And feeling sorry for myself. Hence, the gray blanket.
Why do you feel sorry for yourself?
Because I have writer’s block.
Um, is that a good cause to feel sorry for yourself? I mean, I could understand if your dog just died, but to feel sorry for yourself because you have writer’s block?
Self-pity doesn’t need a logical excuse. She stares out the window.
No, I guess it doesn’t. So what you’re saying is, when you have writer’s block, you lie in bed and stare out the window and eat almonds?
Pretty much.
You know some people deal with writer’s block differently. They do some freehand writing, they go for a walk, they read some encouraging words. Have you tried that?
I did freehand writing this morning. I don’t want to go for a walk, I want to go for sushi. But hubby is painting. I don’t feel like reading. I’m quite happy lying here feeling sorry for myself.
You do know you’re being ridiculous right?
Yep. But this is how I deal with writer’s block. In a few minutes I’ll probably crawl underneath my duvet as well and cover my head. Then I’ll think sad thoughts about myself and my lack of writing skills. I’ll think that there is no way I can write another book and that my writing is crap. Then I’ll hide even further underneath the blankets. Then I might cry. But I don’t really feel like it. Then I’ll get very hot underneath the blankets and get seriously annoyed because I can’t breathe that well and I’ll come out. But probably because I have to pee. Then I might eat something. Then I might write again. Or not.
Thank you for your time.
: )