I don’t believe in New Year resolutions. But I like the idea of a fresh start. Of a blank page to begin in a brand new journal (even if you haven’t finished the other one – because honestly, you aren’t crazy about writing in it because it’s not a Moleskin), of planning new projects, of choosing your word.
I like choosing one word for the whole year. One word to focus on, to remind me daily, as I do my quiet time, that I need to be focusing on what that word means.
2012’s word was ‘kindness’.
2013’s word was ‘more’.
This year? I’m not sure yet. You can’t just choose your word. It is something that needs to be savoured for a few days, kind of like slowly eating a rich, chocolate cake. I have a few ideas. I like the word, ‘exhort’. I like the word, ‘now’.
Last year was hard. I have to say I was not a fan of 2013. Sure I did some incredible things and travelled to places I’ve never been, such as Tennessee and Los Angeles. But it was a hard year. Huge, life-changing decisions had to be made. A change in perspective had to evolve. Letting go of more pain and letting go of people. My goal was to need God more. And did I ever.
We usually start the year with plans (hubby and I). And yet, we have no idea what the year will bring. We can hope to do another house exchange in NY. We can hope to visit Tennessee again. We have holidays at Christmas so maybe we should head somewhere warm. The only thing we are sure of, is that we need to move.
So that’s where I’ve been. Looking at houses. Trying to fix the one we’re in. We almost bought three houses, but they fell apart. Now we are in a holding pattern for one we really really really want, but need a rural mortgage for. But then we see another one that looks interesting too. I know that we will continue homeschooling through the spring.
And I know I need to fix my manuscript in a serious way. I have such issues with tying up plot together. I had a wonderful Skype chat with my author friend, Valerie and she was kind enough to tell me that my plot sucked. I know it does. I need to fix it. I need to fix it and let go of the other projects that are teasing me. Or maybe I should choose a different novel to work on. I’ve been tinkering with my own gardening book. You know, cramming all of my 42 other gardening books into one manual – just for me. I’m learning a lot about asparagus right now. Fascinating stuff. But who knows. Who can decide these things?
So. If you happened to wander here, wondering what I just might be up to…. hi. Are you trying to be introspective too? Are you trying to find a word?
Great. Now I want cake.
listening to: boys fill van with Christmas storage
eating: crackers and cheese
smelling: stupid bread that burnt again