Rhinitis:  (rhino – nose) (itis – inflammation)  … see? I remember some things from my Paramedic training! (Plasty is surgery, hence, rhinoplasty for ladies with big honkers)

I have an issue. Actually, I have many issues, but this one allowed me to see my doctor.

Every single night, just as I get into bed, my nose stuffs up.  We’re talking stuffy stuffy. Yes, yes I could sleep with my mouth open but when that happens I jolt awake, scaring the crap out of the dog (husband never moves – that man is dead when he sleeps) and drink a litre of water because my throat is so parched and crackly.  So instead, I flip from side to side, depending on which side of my  nose is stuffy and routinely wake up throughout the night to jam Vick’s up my nose or just sit up and shake my head for a few minutes until I clear up again.

So I asked my fabulous pharmacist friend (you really should get one, they are oh-so-valuable to have) and they mentionned to take Benadryll. It’s not addictive. Although I may enjoy my sleep more. So for the past few months I play on and off with Benadryll. And it works. Until about 2am and then I’m plugged up again, but not about to take more drugs as I have a hard enough time getting out of the bed in the morning as it is (I can’t do coffee).

So I saw Scuba Steve (family doctor) and he asked to look up my nose.

Do you know how weird that is? You have to tilt your head back and flare your nostrils. I am an excellent nostril flarer, but couldn’t stop giggling, wondering if he would find any ‘lurkers’ hiding up there. I asked if I could blow my nose first and he said no. And what’s even more weird is having this large thingy up your nose, while your head is tilted back and Scuba Steve has his serious face on (maybe to stop you from laughing?) and says very seriously, “huh”.

????

So apparently my nostrils are red and inflammed (aren’t you glad to be reading this?) and I have allergic rhinitis.  Which means I’m allergic to something at bedtime. Hubby is out of the question as I do not sleep on top of hubby. He’s too bumpy and muscle-y to be comfortable. Nor can I stand being touched while I sleep (ie Dog may NOT lay against me while sleeping and feeding baby in bed? Yah, right. No, I don’t have a baby now, just to clarify, I’m talking about 6 years ago).  So I have to wash my pillowcases and blanket (my snuggly one that must be tucked under my chin while sleeping) in Ivory Snow. Which I don’t mind. But if this doesn’t work, I have to start buying different pillows. Which is incredibly annoying. I have a love affair with my pillow. My pillow does not mind if I beat it in the middle of the night, if I drool on it or not wash my face for a few days. It does not mind if I cough into it or cry into it. I love my pillow. So I’m hoping I don’t need a new pillow.

So now I have to buy this prescription spray (yay excellent health care!) to spray up my nose every single night, for the rest of my life.

… yay…

(Incase you were wondering I did a semester of Paramedics at Algonquin way back when and absolutely loved it. I loved working on patients and taking control of the situtation (ie being bossy) and using my brain in quick action moments. However it was horrible on our marriage and I decided to give it up in order to be a great wife. See? See? And instead I’m an AUTHOR!!! Very happy about decision. Always have been. Although it would have been super cool to be a 911 operator. But we won’t get into that right now.)

eating: waiting for decaf soy pumpkin spice latte from hubby but he’s not home yet

listening to: some horrible Nickleback song on the downstairs radio. Ick. Oops. I’m supposed to like them, right? Being Canadian and all?

watching: Star Wars Lego wii. Well, not right now, I was last night. Playing I mean.

Reading: “Where the Heart Leads” (please don’t ask. It’s research) “The Riddle of Amish Culture”, Vanity Fair from June